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A Clever Pakistani

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Urdu Comedy

Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith.

6 Thrilling Stories

A Clever Pakistani  - Story#1

Three contractors... one from Pakistan, another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The English contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job will cost $ 900 in which $ 400 for materials, $ 400 for labour and $ 100 profit for me."

The German contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $ 700... in which $ 300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $ 100 profit for me."

The Pakistani contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: " $ 2,700. " The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" "Easy," the Pakistani explains, "$ 1,000 for you, $ 1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!"

Another story with same concept but now NASA is involved...

A Clever Pakistani  - Story#2

NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an American engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. 'One million dollars,' the engineer answered. 'And I want to donate it all to my alma mater--Rice University.'

The next applicant was a Russian doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question. 'Two millions dollars,' the doctor said. 'I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.'

The last applicant was a
Pakistani politician. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, 'Three million dollars.'

'Why so much more than the others?' the interviewer asked. The Pakistani politician replied, 'You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the American engineer to the Mars.'

 

A Clever Pakistani  - Story#3

A Pakistani man entered a bank in New York City and approach to the loan officer. He tells him that he is going to Pakistan on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Pakistani man hands over the keys of a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Pakistani for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Pakistani returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" .

The Pakistani replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"

  A Clever Pakistani  - Story#4

NASA was getting ready to launch space shuttle for a very important mission. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of its launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.

There was a Pakistani scientist in the group and he offered the help. NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.

"Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the left" said the Pakistani scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. "Bring It back to vertical position" the Pakistani said. The engineers did so. "Now start the engines" he said, and surprisingly, the rocket took off and flew into outer space!

Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied - "It's very simple. This is what we always do with our CD 70 motor bike in Pakistan.

A Clever Pakistani  - Story#5

An American, a German, and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they were all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: I allow each of you one wish before whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The American was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the American was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Pakistani was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from our brotherly Muslim country which is the most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Pakistani replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish?" the Sheik asked. Pakistani smiled and said, "Tie the
American to my back" !!!

  A Clever Pakistani  - Story#6

There's an Indian, a Pakistani and an Indian beautiful woman sitting next to each other in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and everything gets dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The woman and the Pakistani are sitting there looking perplexed.

 

The Indian is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. The Indian is thinking "Dam it", that Pakistani must have tried to kiss this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me." The lady is thinking, "That Indian must have moved to kiss me and kissed the Pakistani instead and got slapped."

 

The Pakistani was thinking to himself...........

"If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Indian again." The Poor Indian! 

 

( Ha! Ha! Ha! )

 

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