Computer Jokes

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. (Charlie Chaplin)

A serious comedy...read it, enjoy it but take it seriously...

» Types of Girls

» Parrot Boss

» Microsoft Error Message Writer

» In Computer Heaven

Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows.

Types of Girls...

Hard Disk Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.

Windows Girls:
Everyone knows that she can’t do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

Multimedia Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

Screensaver Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

Internet Girls:
Difficult to access.

Server Girls:
Always busy when you need her.

E-Mail Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

Virus Girls:
Also known as “WIFE”; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don’t try to uninstall her … you will lose everything.. ...!

Parrot Boss

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer".

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

Microsoft Error Message Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

Now, he works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

In Computer Heaven

The management is from Intel,
The design and construction is done by Apple,
The marketing is done by Microsoft,
IBM provides the support,
Gateway determines the pricing.
 

Fact:  90% of world computers run
Microsoft Windows as their operating system