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Mistakes and Mistakes

Once upon a time

Brand New Dictionary

Marketing

 

Mistakes and Mistakes

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a
New Style

If a driver makes a mistake,

It is a
New path

If an engineer makes a mistake,
It is a
New Venture

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a
New Generation

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a
New Law

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a
New Invention

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a
New Fashion

If a teacher makes a mistake,
It is a
New Theory

If a boss makes a mistake,
It is a
New idea

If you makes a mistake,
It is a
Mistake Only

Once upon a time

  • Leadership mattered, now dealership rules the world.

  • There was a golden rule, now if you have gold, you rule.

  • Mouse was an untouchable mammal, now it is handheld pest.

  • Quality was craftsman's pride, now it is a departmental mess.

  • Population was a problem, now it is a flourishing mass market.

  • Beauty was in the eye of the beholder, now it is booming business.

  • Speaking truth was good for your soul, now it is bad for promotion.

  • Wisdom was cultivated by wise people, now it is flashed on T-shirts.

  • Competition brought out the best, now it brings out the worst in people.

  • Success meant living by ideals, now it is about using above all principles.

  • Teacher tought and students learnt, now teacher trade and students consume.

Brand New Dictionary (alphabetically listed)

  • Atom Bomb:
    An invention to end all inventions.

  • Boss:
    Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

  • Cigarette:
    A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

  • Classic:
    A book which people praise, but do not read.

  • Committee:
    Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

  • Compromise:
    The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

  • Conference:
    The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

  • Conference Room:
    A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

  • Criminal:
    A guy no different from the rest... Except th
    at he got caught.

  • Dictionary:
    A place where divorce comes before marriage.

  • Diplomat:
    A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

  • Divorce:
    Future tense of marriage.

  • Doctor:
    A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

  • Ecstasy:
    A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

  • Etc:
    A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

  • Experience:
    The name men give to their mistakes.

  • Father:
    A banker provided by nature.

  • Lecture:
    An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

  • Love affairs:
    Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.

  • Marriage:
    It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.

  • Miser:
    A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

  • Office:
    A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

  • Opportunist:
    A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

  • Optimist:
    A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.

  • Pessimist:
    A person who says that O is the last letter in zerO, Instead of the first letter in word Opportunity.

  • Philosopher:
    A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

  • Politician:
    One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

  • Rumor:
    News that travels at the speed of sound.

  • Smile:
    A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

  • Tears:
    The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

  • Yawn:
    The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Marketing

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing...

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you and says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say,
"Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing...

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her; pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations...

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich." Will you marry me?"

That's Brand Recognition...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me".
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
And she introduces you to her husband.
That's demand and supply gap...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her:
"I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him.
That's competition in your market share...

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!"
Suddenly your wife enters the scene.
That's restriction to enter new markets...
 

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The first hard drive, made by IBM in 1956, was as big as two refrigerators and could store an impressive 5 MB of data.

IBM introduces its first Personal Computer, IBM 5250 on August 12, 1981.

Long before the iPhone, the IBM Simon was released in 1994. Known as the first smartphone, it was the first phone with PDA and telephone features in one device.

The first mouse was invented by Douglas Engelbart in 1963. It was a wooden shell with two metal wheels.

Worldwide Web (WWW) was introduced by Tim Burner Lee on August 6, 1991

"Archie" was the first Search Engine created in 1989 by a computer science student; Alan Emtage. Google was launched to the world 8 years later in 1997.

In 1965, E.A Johonson developed the world's first touch screen. The technology was similar to today's smartphones, but could only read one touch at a time.

Tic Tac Toe (OXO, also known as "Noughts And Crosses") was the first graphical computer game. It was programmed by A.S. Douglas in 1952 during his Ph.D in Cambridge University.

Fact: 90% of world computers run Microsoft Windows as their operating system.


Computer Jokes

An Intel PC has four protection modes: Abort, Retry, Fail and Reboot.

Old software engineers never die, they just logout.

more computer jokes

 No. of Alphabet Letters

Rotokos (Cambodia) - 74
Sindhi (Pakistan) - 52
Urdu (Pakistan) - 37
Persian (Iran) - 32
Greek (Greece) - 24
English (Global) - 26
Latin - 23

Gaelic (Irish) (Ireland) - 18

 Interesting Facts 

40% of school students are unable to read English

60% of college students are unable to understand English

70% of university students are unable to speak English

85% of working professionals are unable to give proper presentation

90% of applicants are unable to write CVs and give interview

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Some thrilling information
about Love. Click Here

 

     

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Website on air since: Tuesday, March 11, 2003