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Sikh Mother's Letter

Life is a tragedy when se80en in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. (Charlie Chaplin)

 

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Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith.

A Sikh’s mother wrote the following letter to her Sardar son who lives in America.

Piare Puttar,

Vahey Guru. I' m writing this letter slow; because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with him for his new house so he wouldn't have to change his address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jatinder fell in the nearby oil well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father in the sea.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

With Love

Your Mom

P.S: I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Do you know of a Sardar who parked his car in front of a board which said,
"FINE FOR PARKING"?

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem. "What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw a tiger coming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on a branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down. Santa told Banta " just to pass time why don't you sing some song?" Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and sung another set of four songs. After singing all the songs Banta came back to his original position. Santa asked him curiously "Bantya, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs upside down. Why did you do that?" Banta told " First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B"

Once a Sardarji was going to Chandigarh from Pune by an Air India plane. He was allotted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. As soon as Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested Sardarji to leave the seat. But Sardarji told, "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the airhostess. The airhostess came and requested Sardarji to leave that seat. But Sardarji refused and did not leave. Then the airhostess told the Asst. Captain. He also requested but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the Sardar's ear and he immediately left the seat and returned to his middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the Asst. Captain asked the Captain, what he told to Sardarji? Captain told :"nothing, I just told him that only the middle seat will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar."

Santa Singh told his wife that after his death she should marry Banta Singh. "But why should I marry Banta who is your enemy no 1" enquired his wife. Santa quipped, "Oh Darling, this is the only way I can take my revenge from him.

What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes!!

What will a Sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photocopy of the white paper!!!
 

 

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