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5-year Replacement Plan
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ORDER OF REPLACEMENTS |
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WordS TO Replace |
Example |
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First
Year: |
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S to C |
civil,
combination |
sivil,
kombination |
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Dropping of
C to K |
clear,
confusion |
klear,
konfusion |
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Second
Year: |
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PH to F |
photograph |
fotograf |
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Third
Year: |
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Removal of
double letters |
agree, will |
agre, wil |
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Dropping of
silent E |
people,
possible |
peopl, possibl |
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Fourth Year: |
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TH to Z |
fifth, other |
fifz, ozer |
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W to V |
word |
vord |
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Fifth
Year: |
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Dropping of
O (in words ou) |
would, course |
vud, korse |
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as
"Euro-English".
In the first
year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k".
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be
growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome "ph" will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd
year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage
the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth
year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"
with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil
finali kum tru! And zen world!
Are you ready to accept these changes?
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