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5-year Replacement Plan
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ORDER OF REPLACEMENTS |
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WordS TO Replace |
Example |
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First
Year: |
|
|
|
S to C |
civil,
combination |
sivil,
kombination |
|
Dropping of
C to K |
clear,
confusion |
klear,
konfusion |
|
|
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Second
Year: |
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PH to F |
photograph |
fotograf |
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Third
Year: |
|
Removal of
double letters |
agree, will |
agre, wil |
|
Dropping of
silent E |
people,
possible |
peopl, possibl |
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Fourth Year: |
|
TH to Z |
fifth, other |
fifz, ozer |
|
W to V |
word |
vord |
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|
|
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Fifth
Year: |
|
Dropping of
O (in words ou) |
would, course |
vud, korse |
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as
"Euro-English".
In the first
year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k".
This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be
growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome "ph" will
be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd
year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage
the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth
year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"
with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil
finali kum tru! And zen world!
Are you ready to accept these changes?
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4 Cell Phone Secrets
Emergency
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself
out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an
Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to
establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number
112
can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.
Locked your keys in the car?
If you lock your keys in the car, call someone at home on
their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot
from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock
button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will
unlock.
Hidden Battery Power
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys
*3370#. Your cell phone will restart with its reserve power and the
instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get
charged when you charge your cell phone next time.
Disable a stolen mobile phone
To check your Mobile phone's serial number, press *#06#. A 15-digit code
will appear on the
screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it
somewhere safe.
When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give
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the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You
probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever
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would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.
Interesting Facts
40% of school students are unable to
read English
60% of college students are unable
to understand English
70% of university students are
unable to speak English
85% of working professionals are
unable to give proper presentation
90% of applicants are unable to
write CVs and give interview
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