You think English is easy???
Read to the end . . . A new twist
The bandage was
wound around the
The farm was used to
The dump was so full that it
had to refuse more
lead if he would get the
The soldier decided to
desert his dessert in the
Since there is no time like
the present, he thought it was time
to present the
bass was painted on the head of the
When shot at, the
into the bushes.
I did not
object to the
The insurance was
invalid for the
There was a
row among the oarsmen about how to
They were too
close to the door to
does funny things, when the
does are present.
A seamstress and a
sewer fell down into a
To help with planting, the
farmer taught his sow to
wind was too strong to wind
Upon seeing the
tear in the painting I shed a
I had to
subject to a series of tests.
How can I
intimate this to my most
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant,
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English
for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can
work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers
write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One
goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it
seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch
of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't
preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by
ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a
fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You
have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by
people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are
out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS.. - Why doesn't 'Buick'
rhyme with 'quick'?
You lovers of the English language might enjoy
There is a two-letter word
that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that
It's easy to understand UP,
meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in
the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a
topic come UP?
Why do we speak
UP and why are the officers
UP for election and why is it
UP to the secretary to write
UP a report ?
UP our friends. And we use it to
brighten UP a room, polish
UP the silver; we warm
UP the leftovers and clean
UP the kitchen. We lock
UP the house and some guys fix
UP the old car.
At other times the little
word has real special meaning. People stir UP
trouble, line UP for tickets, work
UP an appetite, and think
To be dressed is one thing,
but to be dressed UP is special. And
this UP is confusing: A drain must
be opened UP because it is stopped
UP. We open
UP a store in the morning but we close it
UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed
UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word
UP in the dictionary. In a
desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP
almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP
to about thirty definitions. If you are UP
to it, you might try building UP a
list of the many ways UP is used. It
will take UP a lot of your time, but
if you don't give UP, you may wind
UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain,
we say it is clouding UP. When the
sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things
UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile,
things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but
I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is
UP so........it is time to shut
Some Strange Facts about English
is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of
is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
E is the most frequently used letter in
is the only novel (267 pages, 50,000 words) written in 1939 by Ernest
Vincent Wright, without the use of letter "E".
was the first novel written on a typewriter; by Mark Twain in 1876.
is the only 15-letter word in the English language that can be written
without repeating a letter.
has 464 definitions in the Oxford English Dictionary. The word
runs a distant second, with 396.
The dot over the
j is called a tittle.
is the only word in the English language that is pronounced the whole for
its first letter.
The sixth sick sheik's sixth
is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar; Period, comma, colon,
semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point,
quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
The only three
English words beginning with dw are; Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.
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The first hard drive, made by
IBM in 1956, was as big as two refrigerators and could store an impressive 5
MB of data.
its first Personal Computer, IBM 5250 on August 12, 1981.
Long before the
iPhone, the IBM Simon was released in 1994. Known as the first smartphone,
it was the first phone with PDA and telephone features in one device.
The first mouse
was invented by Douglas Engelbart in 1963. It was a wooden shell with two
(WWW) was introduced by Tim Burner Lee on August 6, 1991
was the first Search Engine created in 1989 by a computer science student;
Alan Emtage. Google was launched to the world 8 years later in 1997.
In 1965, E.A Johonson developed
the world's first touch screen. The technology was similar to today's
smartphones, but could only read one touch at a time.
Tic Tac Toe
(OXO, also known as "Noughts And Crosses") was the first graphical computer
game. It was programmed by A.S. Douglas in 1952 during his Ph.D in Cambridge
Fact: 90% of world computers run
Microsoft Windows as their operating system.
Intel PC has four protection modes: Abort, Retry, Fail and Reboot.
engineers never die, they just
more computer jokes
No. of Alphabet Letters
Sindhi (Pakistan) - 52
Urdu (Pakistan) - 37
Persian (Iran) - 32
Greek (Greece) - 24
English (Global) - 26
Latin - 23
(Ireland) - 18
40% of school students are unable to
60% of college students are unable
to understand English
70% of university students are
unable to speak English
85% of working professionals are
unable to give proper presentation
90% of applicants are unable to
write CVs and give interview
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