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You think English is easy???
Read to the end . . . A new twist

  • The bandage was wound around the wound.

  • The farm was used to produce produce.

  • The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

  • We must polish the Polish furniture.

  • He could lead if he would get the lead out.

  • The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

  • Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

  • A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

  • When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

  • I did not object to the object.

  • The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

  • There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

  • They were too close to the door to close it.

  • The buck does funny things, when the does are present.

  • A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

  • To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

  • The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

  • Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

  • I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

  • How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS.. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this:

  • There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'

  • It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

  • At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

  • Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

  • We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

  • At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

  • To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

  • We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

  • When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

  • One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP so........it is time to shut UP!

Some Strange Facts about English Language:

  • Typewriter is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

  • Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

  • E is the most frequently used letter in English.

  • Gadsby is the only novel (267 pages, 50,000 words) written in 1939 by Ernest Vincent Wright, without the use of letter "E". 

  • Tom Sawyer was the first novel written on a typewriter; by Mark Twain in 1876.

  • Uncopyrightable is the only 15-letter word in the English language that can be written without repeating a letter.

  • The word Set has 464 definitions in the Oxford English Dictionary. The word Run runs a distant second, with 396.

  • The dot over the i or j is called a tittle.

  • The word queue is the only word in the English language that is pronounced the whole for its first letter.

  • The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

  • There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar; Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

  • The only three English words beginning with dw are; Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

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The first hard drive, made by IBM in 1956, was as big as two refrigerators and could store an impressive 5 MB of data.

IBM introduces its first Personal Computer, IBM 5250 on August 12, 1981.

Long before the iPhone, the IBM Simon was released in 1994. Known as the first smartphone, it was the first phone with PDA and telephone features in one device.

The first mouse was invented by Douglas Engelbart in 1963. It was a wooden shell with two metal wheels.

Worldwide Web (WWW) was introduced by Tim Burner Lee on August 6, 1991

"Archie" was the first Search Engine created in 1989 by a computer science student; Alan Emtage. Google was launched to the world 8 years later in 1997.

In 1965, E.A Johonson developed the world's first touch screen. The technology was similar to today's smartphones, but could only read one touch at a time.

Tic Tac Toe (OXO, also known as "Noughts And Crosses") was the first graphical computer game. It was programmed by A.S. Douglas in 1952 during his Ph.D in Cambridge University.

Fact: 90% of world computers run Microsoft Windows as their operating system.


Computer Jokes

An Intel PC has four protection modes: Abort, Retry, Fail and Reboot.

Old software engineers never die, they just logout.

more computer jokes

 No. of Alphabet Letters

Rotokos (Cambodia) - 74
Sindhi (Pakistan) - 52
Urdu (Pakistan) - 37
Persian (Iran) - 32
Greek (Greece) - 24
English (Global) - 26
Latin - 23

Gaelic (Irish) (Ireland) - 18

 Interesting Facts 

40% of school students are unable to read English

60% of college students are unable to understand English

70% of university students are unable to speak English

85% of working professionals are unable to give proper presentation

90% of applicants are unable to write CVs and give interview

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